Am I being selfish if I tell him not to go to the doctors appts and be in the labor room? 8. You may think your partner was a good person, but that something was missing in the relationship. He never denies the kid is his: he even offered to support the child, though he doesnt want to be apart of the childs life. I attempt to avoid name calling, but if you have a problem with one person ASKING another person to do or not do ANYTHING, you are a poor excuse for an adult! April 9, 2012, 1:00 pm. bittergaymark Secondly, it is a medical procedure. LW, this guy sounds like a scumbag. April 10, 2012, 12:00 am. So, if MEN can be compelled to support children after rape, you must also support the idea that WOMEN can be compelled to support that child in the womb after THEY get raped. -Is furious with her for keeping her baby Dude, get away from this guy pronto! The manner to which they have become accustomed is a reference to alimony, not child support. Why you waste any time belly aching about how unfair it is, is beyond me. The laws are unfair because they arent designed to be fair to the PARENTS- theyre designed to work in the best interest of the innocent child that didnt choose to be born. Men dont have those choices if they dont want the child. April 10, 2012, 6:34 pm. But thats a crime? Therefore, why are you depressed? But anyway, in case its not fake if this guy isnt lying about only knowing this woman for two minutes then yeah, shes an idiot for wanting to keep the baby. so we have a 8mth baby. He said he still loves me and that he didnt love her, and it was a mistake. April 9, 2012, 11:08 am. Thats why I kind of went to the extreme with the whole Threw some money thing. However, if a woman has sex with a man, she can make all the choices and decisions, force palimony, and essentially treat that man as their financial slave for the next 18 years. Why are people here creating scenarios that arent in the letter? pretty sure he is actually an extreme pro-lifer who is playing into his rhetoric backwards. Or that the person youve known for two minutes and are now having sex with is being honest with you about anything. Okay, Tim. Good. Out of my 5 closest friends only one isnt a fan. Let him deal with the consequences of his own actions without relying on you to rescue him. Sex makes babies and every time you have sex you run the risk of making a baby. It doesnt make sense. April 10, 2012, 6:37 pm. Then they want to fight for the loser like hes some sort of prize! let us know if he had). Um, yeah. Then the unlikely happens. And how do you know you wouldnt do the same thing she is? By your logic, its just as much the waiters fault for not making sure the kitchen used different gloves when she didnt bother to tell him just how severe her allergy was. The woman can choose to abort the baby, even in the event the father desperately wants it, and is willing to raise and support it himself. Its when I disagree that I usually feel I want to write a comment. And, again, this is common except with those inflicted with social disorders who cant seem to not say exactly what theyre thinking. we are making DW history, here, people!!! You need to be consistent in your line of reasoning. landygirl Steve Kellmeyer There is no way to know this. just my opinion. Also, he seems willing to abide by the laws. REALLY? And since shes the one with the baby in HER uterus, theres not a whole lot you can do to force her to have the abortion or stop her from doing so. Who actually uses cod wollop, malarky and scroat? But then, I guess I like giving people the benefit of the doubt. He said theres only a chance. You seem to have completely missed the point that virtually anything we do involves risk, and that doing those things doesnt mean were prepared for any possible consequence at any time. It doesnt involve any weird semi-involvement; but rather a clean break for the child and a chance to build a happy, loving life with a set of great parents. He was not tricked into having sex with her without protection. Step away slowly. April 9, 2012, 3:42 pm. As far as your relationship with him. Fury at the woman he impregnated is misdirected. April 10, 2012, 7:01 pm. She and Jimmy were going to raise their children together. Baby, our apartment isnt big enough for a baby. Man is in quotes becuase no man abandons a woman that he impregnates. I dont feel anyone should be forced to be a part of a childs life. A woman who is raped is stuck with the agonizing choice of getting an abortion, or carrying a child to term. So he and the LW should break up for good. There has to be a reason behind all this vitriol. him: I would prefer if you had an abortion. Actions have consequences. The adoption process has a pretty involved vetting procedure- meaning that birth parents can reasonably assume the child will be cared for by the adoptive parent or parents. Both parties should be concerned about birth control. If youre going to have casual sex, there are some things you can leave to the goodwill of others and some where youve gotta be a little bit proactive. Maam, hes made a choice. If youre going to call anyone a slut, Chuck (which you shouldnt, its really very rude) why not the dude who slept with someone he cant stand and got her pregnant? Watch your language young lady! Move on. Im late to this, but WHAT THE FUCK. Why isnt it fair of him to be angry? No, he could be furious at the legal system that compelled it or at the woman (who, by the way, was equally culpable in the creation) who opts to continue with a child only she wants.. You have no say whatsoever in this situation. The fact that all this happened doesnt mean hes some despicable jackass.. Its biology. Its not a gender-based law. 10. Wow, that was a super bitchy thing to say. He cant force her to get an abortion, and she cant force him to be in the kids life.
You bet. And aborting a pregnancy is also something that is a very difficult thing for many women. So for someone I love and care deeply about, its enjoyable. Also who goes around talking about how he cant stand the mother of his child? And its not because either sex is evil or worse than the other. I think we can all agree that the safest thing for men to do is to simply masturbate alone, while wearing a condom. She cant afford a child on her own. Women dont get off requiring men to do it. It seems they are in a good place now, but I checked my mans texts and she still flirts with him and tries to get him back. Um please feel free to disregard teh account representative, that may have been for something else haha. Like being pregnant isnt massively uncomfortable. April 9, 2012, 1:10 pm. The guy and the woman had sex. If you cant handle the idea that this could happen, then wrap it up, or dont have casual sex. Hi. I often feel bad for the LWs who get called names and judged super harshly on this site and sometimes feel the need to defend them when they just seem lost and in need of some advice. So much that he demanded his interim girlfriend get an abortion. (i.e. He also said he is furious with this women for wanting to keep the child, because they were only together for 2 minutes. I've always felt like I was put on this planet to be a mom, but when . Which brings me to my question for LW: You say your boyfriend is 40 years old, but how old are YOU? Everything is he: He is in love with you, so in love that he humped another woman; so in love that he wanted to kill a baby to be with you. But I have no tolerance for the ones who cry foul after the fact when it hasnt gone their way. Women can decide to abort the pregnancy or to give the child up for adoption, both of which are choices that remove any future obligation. lets_be_honest But simply disagreeing with others does NOT fit the definition of a troll, not by a long shot. April 9, 2012, 5:52 pm, Sounds to me like your sister isnt so much unlucky, but a liar. Yes, he should have realized this was a possibility. She has to go through a pregnancy no matter what (assuming she doesnt believe in abortion). Not a double standard at all. Instead of re-commenting this in the 23 different places above where it applies, Ill say it here (again): Why is everyone assuming he didnt use a condom? The crazies on both sides just come crawling out of the woodwork. It is never the unborn childs fault. Please help. Plenty dont. but all those prominent male politicians usually turn out to be gay and not hetero at all.. bittergaymark *ETA: also, most of my comments on here are usually light-heardely dumbed down just to lighten the mood a little. He sounds wholly unlikable so I think its doubtful she wants anything to do with him, especially now. And the man? I have zero sympathy for for any guy crying about how hes stuck paying for a child he doesnt want. If someone decides to risk becoming a parent by having sex, especially unprotected sex, or by letting a pregnancy continue to the point where a baby is born, they are consenting to be responsible for any child that is produced. Admirable restraint indeed. A full-on communication stop after a breakup is rare these days. If she is a crappy mom the kid will be used to interfer unless she can find some sucker that wont let her. Only men-children would not use a condom in this situation. I think what you are trying to explain are the two types of custodyover the person and over decision making for the person. Now? I feel like a part of me has died . April 9, 2012, 12:55 pm, Im sure there are many, many women who would argue that its not all rainbows and butterflies in attaining child support. Its not yours to deal with. And my opinion doesnt change whether youre prepared to have a kid. And dont worry, my sons will have the good sense to stay away from your daughters. She wants to abort Jimmys baby. That way you and only YOU get to decide which woman you deign to procreate with. Im happy to have found a father in my father-in-law, who has really become the dad I never had in that he loves me, supports me, listens to me, and even spoils me, haha! Just as the guy needs to respect the ladys decision to keep it. This surprises you? This is the set up for some serious melodrama. No loss there. When they were last together, he cheated on her many times and got another girl pregnant. Stop this back and forth with him. Fyrebyrd2 Again, no. lets_be_honest The way I figure, he can go ahead and have unprotected sex all he wants but I still maintain its a bad idea. And since placement errs to the mother, so does support for the exact reason you pointed out above, Addie: support is a gender-blind concept. We have been broken up for a few months but have remained friends and in contact. However, my point isnt that children should not be supported. But even though I led you to think I didnt want to become pregnant, Im going to keep the baby and thereby obligate you to two decades of child support, is, while totally within her rights, still a massive breach of the pre-coital understanding, express and implied, between the parties. he was told that he could not have any children so i thought she wasnt his. whose pregnancy and right to bear the child are apparently sacrosanct.-yep, true story Bottom line. It amazes me how people can say things like That whore slept with my boyfriend! and keep a straight face. Would be nice if they could because there were many nights when I was pregnant where my husband could have had our babies lay on his bladder instead of mine. She will be lucky to have 50% of the day care costs alone paid for*. LOL What? Now I'm happily married and live in Orlando. April 10, 2012, 5:46 pm. But hes 40?! Year 1970. Who the hell else is clicking that button??! Its ironic that some of the same people who fire off insults left and right on this forum, feel so offended when someone simply disagrees with them. The good news is that yours are a little less awful. My point is if you dont want kids there are always ways to prevent that he chose not to and now he can deal with the consequences. Iwannatalktosampson The waiter has no idea that she has a severe allergy to peanuts, so doesnt tell the kitchen to change gloves when preparing her meal. Maybe because she wants a tie to the LWs boyfriend. I agree with SweetsandBeets. She seems proud of his bad-boy ways and his current claim that she is the only woman who can tame him into marriage. So, yes, I can see why hed be furious. April 9, 2012, 2:39 pm. I think your maturity should absolutely, completely be judged against how you react when life throws you unexpected thingslike an unplanned pregnancy. Again, not unusual, and since the LW and the guy were broken up, the LW has no claim to what the guy could do after the breakup.